Wednesday, 30 June 2010

take your cheap shots, i've never been too proud to sin

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Thirteen. Someone you wish could forgive you.

Dear Jenny M.,


      I'm sorry if I've hurt you in some way. It was a long time ago and maybe you don't even remember me. I don't think I ever meant to hurt you but you were always pushing back against anyone who tried to be your friend. So when people started to purposely hurt you, you'd already taken away any support you would have had. I always watched when people would target you when we played dodge-ball and I never knew what to do. And I always felt guilty that I knew they were doing that. Even your so-called-friends that you made for yourself would do that to you. 

Maybe you were just waiting for that one person who would go up and beyond the effort to be your friend. But I couldn't do that. And I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry that I didn't stick up for you when people were hurting you. Because I know they would have listened to me.


Beth

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

everything that i'm made of starts to melt away

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Twelve. The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.

Dear Self, 

       Why do you do those things that you know you shouldn't? You hear the voice telling you that you will regret it and yet there you go anyways. And you do regret it. Always. It needs to stop. When that happens go play a video game or, better yet, look at the paper and look at all the murders and deaths. You don't want to be the one doing those things.


You were doing so much better for a time there and then something snapped back. You can blame the people. But it comes down to who's the bigger man here. And you can't be that if you go ahead and do things you're going to regret. You know that its the truth.


Love,
Yourself.

Monday, 28 June 2010

let's don't let a good thing die

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Eleven. A deceased person you wish you could talk to.

Dear Elvis,


      I wish you could have lived longer (like Johnny Cash did) or at least gone out in style (not fat). Anyways I want to tell you that I love your music. I wish I could have actually gone to a concert of yours in your prime. It would be something to remember the rest of my life. But your music makes me happy and I can feel the passion you had for singing and making the music. So thanks for being such an inspiration and leaving the world with something great behind.


Beth

Sunday, 27 June 2010

we're here now feeling the beat of a thousand hearts

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Ten. Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.

Dear Paula,

      I loved seeing you and talking to you when you came by my house to drop off my birthday gift. I feel bad because I never got you anything for your birthday. But don't worry I will next year because it is your big 2-0! Oh yeah! Anyways I see you working sometimes when I pop into your store but you always are helping customers so I decide not to be rude. But if I notice you are not busy I will jump on that moment and talk to you =)

You are one of my oldest friends! Thanks for wanting to continue on our friendship through the last 13 or so years! 


Beth

Saturday, 26 June 2010

completely incomplete, i'll take your invitation

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Nine. Someone you wish you could meet.

Dear Jason Wade,


      I know you will never read this because you probably have next to zero time to be on a computer looking up fan letters on random blogs while you are touring. Maybe you would wonder why I chose to write this letter (someone you wish you could meet) to you. I know you were here recently on tour with your band but I wasn't able to go to the concert.


       Anyways the reason I want to meet you is to tell you how much your songs mean to me. I have 'grown up' with them and every cd carries different memories. My sister recently told me that she loved your first albums but not the last couple. I disagreed; as I've grown and changed so has your music. Everything needs to change in order to grown and get better. I guess I just understand every single song you've made and how it fits into my life. So thanks for making fantastic music that I can listen to, understand, and grow with. I'll be looking forward to your next album. Hanging By a Moment will be my favourite song until I die. So thanks.


Beth.

Friday, 25 June 2010

how could we know that night would bring us into daylight

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Eight. Your Favourite Internet Friend.

Dear Ali,

       I miss talking to you so much! You helped me through hard times and good times. I love how you introduced me to so many different bands and also to making graphics. My favourite rp's were always with you and the stories and characters we made from/for them will remain my favourite. 

       I hope you are doing well with life. Last time I talked to you I remember you saying that you were going into massage therapy.... or something like that. Have you stuck with it or have you decided to do something different?


We still need to make a trip to Moose Jaw. I miss you a whole heck of a lot. 


Beth~ (aka Shawty (lol))

Thursday, 24 June 2010

i can breathe for the first time, i'm so movin' on

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Seven. Your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Love/Crush.

Dear Ex-Crush,


       I want to be so over thinking about you. But when you show up I can feel my heart flutter a little. It's doing it less though, which I'm glad of. And, most honestly, if you are into her just ask her out already. Don't be stupid and shy and whatnot. Because the worst thing that will happen is rejection. Hm isn't that the truth. Then you move on. If you ever had asked me out after what happened  I can say with confidence that I probably would have said no. Everything in my body would have conflicting feelings about it and I, while probably regretting not, would be much happier not worrying about you and a relationship the way my life has played out up until now. I have to say that the other week when I was looking at a friend who was near where you were standing and caught your eye was pretty awkward. But I wasn't looking at you.


Next time I see you I'll be over you. M~wah!


B.

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Six. Stranger.

Dear Stranger,


      Like any safety-conscious parent would tell their kid, I was told not to talk to you. However, I've grown up and at my work I have to talk to strangers. So I want to tell you, stranger, is that you are not alone even when you think you might be. Someone right now is thinking about you. It could be a kid that was in your class for one year in elementary but that person is wondering what happened to these people and what became of them. Someone out there is willing to love you too. You are always loved no matter what you may tell yourself. I am telling you now: You are loved. The hard times may come at you full force but after the storm there is always sun. Maybe it doesn't feel like that now, and maybe you have never known anything but storms in your life. But maybe you just need to step out of your routine: Drive a different way home, ride a bike instead, work up the guts to talk (because the worst that could happen means that person didn't want to know the beautiful person that is you. You don't deserve that), learn an instrument, save an animal from a local shelter. Try to do something different once a day. It can be the smallest change (driving a different route or a different food you've never had) to a huge new extreme that you never would have thought to do (skydiving or scuba diving). Try it and see how your life brightens up and opens new possibilities for you. 


God Bless,

Beth

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

only in your dreams so exit the fall

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Five. Your Dreams.

Dear Dreams,

      You are something I love to hate. A sweet escape. A drowning place. In my subconscious you make me remember what has happened through the day or that I am stressing over. Not cool. Though I will give you credit for giving me a good story idea. But at the same time I'd almost rather not remembering my dreams like I use to do. They were just dreams that stayed forgotten because they don't matter. So next time I fall into sleep please don't taunt me. Thanks.

B

Monday, 21 June 2010

it's not always easy, but i'm here forever

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Four. Closest Sibling.

Dear Pooh Bear,


      Haha I haven't called you that in forever, have I? Well there we go. I don't know what to say to you because I see you everyday and tell you a lot of things. But I don't always tell you everything. You are one of my closest friends and probably will be until we die. You make me laugh and cry and want to die. You think I laugh at you all the time. And you're right; I do. But I'm not laughing because you are ugly or whatever it is you think. I'm laughing because you did whatever it is you do to make me laugh.

       We need to find more Adventure Times to watch. Like Ricardio. And that gross magic one blah. Anyways chill out. I'll see you tomorrow when I get up and we go to Pier 1. Until then.

Hot Tamales.

Sunday, 20 June 2010

its business up front and a party in the back

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Three. Parents.

Dear Parents,
      
      I was originally going to write you separate letters but then I decided against it. Why, you may ask? Well I'm lazy but I also thought it was tacky. Haha kidding. I just thought that since its the 30-day letter and not letters I would only write one.

      Really all I want to say is thanks for the memories. I'm outta here. =) No, really I want to say thanks for taking care of me since I was born and giving me support and feeding me and giving me food. So thanks for that.


      But I also want to say that you guys better lay off on some stuff at times. I'm an adult and I need my own space and time and all that good stuff. I understand that it can't be all that easy since almost all of your kids are adults now but please don't treat us like we don't know how to get along in the outside world. You've raised us pretty dang well and I think we can deal for ourselves. Indeed.

     I'll be sticking around for another two years but later I'm looking for my own space. It will be good times. I need to start a new chapter in my life at some time 'rents.


Love your number two.

PS. Happy Father's Day Dad.

Saturday, 19 June 2010

i don't know you but i want you (all the more for that)

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Two. Crush.

Dear Crush,

       I don't see you very often but you make my life worthwhile when I do. When you look over in my direction my heart skips and I wish you would just talk to me. We have similar interests (music) and as I watch you play your guitar with all that love and determination in your face I find myself falling even more for you. The way you play the piano fills my soul with joy. You make me forget about him and I wonder if you ever sad about losing her. I don't want to date in sympathy so you won't be a rebound when I never even dated him. I don't really know you but my sister kinda does and many other friends of mine do. If there was a way to talk to you I would. But I'm scared at the same time. But I would overcome my fears to be with you. Why can't we just talk and see where it goes from there? Ha, yeah like that will ever happen. Maybe this is why crushes are stupid ridiculous things. Yeah. See you tomorrow.

Beth~ 

Friday, 18 June 2010

love is the movement, it's a revolution

30 Day Letter Challenge Day One. Best Friend.

Dear Best Friend,


      I don't even know how to start this letter. Maybe that's because [I hope] you know how much you really do mean to me. You know that I don't like to talk about my emotions and stuff but writing them works so much better for me anyways :)


       We haven't seen each other in a long time. But I want you to know that you are an absolutely beautiful woman! Now I know that you are thinking that I'm only saying this because I'm your best friend but I'm pretty sure I would tell you if you looked butt-ugly. Trust me on this. You are gorgeous. And I know life hasn't been kind to you a whole lot of the time. But that just adds to the beauty and your fighting spirit. I loved going out places with you because I would think "I'm so lucky to have a beautiful friend who actually wants to be seen with me" :P


       I don't really know where you are in your spiritual life. But when you were still here I think that was one of my favourite things about our relationship. I've never had a friend closer than you who believed so much of the same things as me. But more than that is that I felt we were at the same point in our spiritual life and it helped having someone there with me going through the same battles. And I think this part of my life was the part that cried the most when you were gone and I didn't know what 'state' you were in. Anyways. I know this is cliche but I know that God has awesome plans for you if you draw close to him. I know because I could see such things before you moved. (Of course I couldn't see anything while you were gone ;D)


      Gah there is so much I could say! I don't even know if I'm your best friend anymore because of that stupid crap that happened and I'm sorry about that and I know I will always regret it. I don't know if you'll ever want to bring it up again but I think we should even though neither of us want to because it will eat both of us and our friendship inside out. Aside from that I want to hear - actually hear in detail - what happened to you in the last few years. It's been a long time. You can say stuff happened and it doesn't matter. But it does to me. You shouldn't have to carry a burden by yourself. I promise I will talk about my side too. And its painful to me at certain parts but somehow I know you'll listen.


       Music! In our souls, in our mouths, in our hands. I want that band to live. I don't even freaking care if its the two of us with guitars acoustic. The Rocket Summer is a one man band so obvs we would be a band, an acoustic one. I loved how I could write the lyrics and someone you could just pick the music out of the air. Beautiful. OH. There is concert (only $10!!!!!) on August 28th. Flyleaf, Skillet, Hawk Nelson, Starfield + a few more. Come wiiiiiith.


       Hahaha okay I know I am super lame this way and I don't even have a boyfriend and I probably won't for a while but I want you to know that I want YOU (lol) in my bridal party. Bridesmaid, Maid of Honour.... we'll see. But you've been such an important part of my life I can't imagine you not being in there.


      There is so much more that I could say but honestly I'd rather tell you face to face. I miss you so so much. I will love it when you (finally) move into the city. You are my partner-in-crime, my sister (though not by blood which is even cooler), and my best friend. Sorry this is long but at least it isn't as small as the writing on my actual letters. (Which hurts my eyes even XD EDIT: nevermind. it's pretty tiny too) I'll see you soon. Hopefully in August :D


Love McFly

Listen Up Y'all Y'all

It's the 30 Day Letter challenge and its going down right here.
Haha yeah.... I'll be posting the letters here. I'll try to do one 'each' day but I'll do one for sure whenever I have something to say/am on the blog. So let's start this party up!
  • Day 01 — Your Best Friend
  • Day 02 — Your Crush
  • Day 03 — Your Parents
  • Day 04 — Your Sibling (or closest relative)
  • Day 05 — Your Dreams
  • Day 06 — A Stranger
  • Day 07 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
  • Day 08 — Your favorite internet friend
  • Day 09 — Someone you wish you could meet
  • Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
  • Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
  • Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
  • Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
  • Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
  • Day 15 — The person you miss the most
  • Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
  • Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
  • Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
  • Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
  • Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
  • Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
  • Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
  • Day 23 — The last person you kissed
  • Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
  • Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
  • Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
  • Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
  • Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
  • Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
  • Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror