love is the movement, it's a revolution

30 Day Letter Challenge Day One. Best Friend.

Dear Best Friend,


      I don't even know how to start this letter. Maybe that's because [I hope] you know how much you really do mean to me. You know that I don't like to talk about my emotions and stuff but writing them works so much better for me anyways :)


       We haven't seen each other in a long time. But I want you to know that you are an absolutely beautiful woman! Now I know that you are thinking that I'm only saying this because I'm your best friend but I'm pretty sure I would tell you if you looked butt-ugly. Trust me on this. You are gorgeous. And I know life hasn't been kind to you a whole lot of the time. But that just adds to the beauty and your fighting spirit. I loved going out places with you because I would think "I'm so lucky to have a beautiful friend who actually wants to be seen with me" :P


       I don't really know where you are in your spiritual life. But when you were still here I think that was one of my favourite things about our relationship. I've never had a friend closer than you who believed so much of the same things as me. But more than that is that I felt we were at the same point in our spiritual life and it helped having someone there with me going through the same battles. And I think this part of my life was the part that cried the most when you were gone and I didn't know what 'state' you were in. Anyways. I know this is cliche but I know that God has awesome plans for you if you draw close to him. I know because I could see such things before you moved. (Of course I couldn't see anything while you were gone ;D)


      Gah there is so much I could say! I don't even know if I'm your best friend anymore because of that stupid crap that happened and I'm sorry about that and I know I will always regret it. I don't know if you'll ever want to bring it up again but I think we should even though neither of us want to because it will eat both of us and our friendship inside out. Aside from that I want to hear - actually hear in detail - what happened to you in the last few years. It's been a long time. You can say stuff happened and it doesn't matter. But it does to me. You shouldn't have to carry a burden by yourself. I promise I will talk about my side too. And its painful to me at certain parts but somehow I know you'll listen.


       Music! In our souls, in our mouths, in our hands. I want that band to live. I don't even freaking care if its the two of us with guitars acoustic. The Rocket Summer is a one man band so obvs we would be a band, an acoustic one. I loved how I could write the lyrics and someone you could just pick the music out of the air. Beautiful. OH. There is concert (only $10!!!!!) on August 28th. Flyleaf, Skillet, Hawk Nelson, Starfield + a few more. Come wiiiiiith.


       Hahaha okay I know I am super lame this way and I don't even have a boyfriend and I probably won't for a while but I want you to know that I want YOU (lol) in my bridal party. Bridesmaid, Maid of Honour.... we'll see. But you've been such an important part of my life I can't imagine you not being in there.


      There is so much more that I could say but honestly I'd rather tell you face to face. I miss you so so much. I will love it when you (finally) move into the city. You are my partner-in-crime, my sister (though not by blood which is even cooler), and my best friend. Sorry this is long but at least it isn't as small as the writing on my actual letters. (Which hurts my eyes even XD EDIT: nevermind. it's pretty tiny too) I'll see you soon. Hopefully in August :D


Love McFly ♥

Listen Up Y'all Y'all

It's the 30 Day Letter challenge and its going down right here.
Haha yeah.... I'll be posting the letters here. I'll try to do one 'each' day but I'll do one for sure whenever I have something to say/am on the blog. So let's start this party up!

• Day 01 — Your Best Friend
• Day 02 — Your Crush
• Day 03 — Your Parents
• Day 04 — Your Sibling (or closest relative)
• Day 05 — Your Dreams
• Day 06 — A Stranger
• Day 07 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 08 — Your favorite internet friend
• Day 09 — Someone you wish you could meet
• Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
• Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
• Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
• Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
• Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
• Day 15 — The person you miss the most
• Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
• Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
• Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
• Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
• Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
• Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
• Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
• Day 23 — The last person you kissed
• Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
• Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
• Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
• Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
• Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
• Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
• Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

It Lives On

I actually really love this as a tee.

D=

Can you please exit my head?

I don't know if your face keeps showing up because my hormone levels are wacked or if I kinda like you.

But I really doubt I'll see you again.
And because of that I don't want to even entertain ideas.

So please just get out and leave me alone.
Unless you aren't just a face in my mind.

ROAR. I am lion.

Mmm I suppose I should post a really real blog post once in a while right? So. Life.
It's been getting me down a little I won't lie.
I guess I've been dwelling on things I have no control over. Stupid.
Like why it seems like guys don't like me. And why all these people I've grown up, who are in relationships, are suddenly getting engaged or married.
I'm left behind.
I even feel left behind in my own family. Not that anyone else it dating but everyone else has been asked out on dates more than my 1 time. Hmpf.
I need to get out there in the world but at the same time I really don't want to either.

It's like I'm getting stretched into 2 directions. Stop and drop everything and just leave and go anywhere. Or stay and see where I am after I finish school.

And school. It feels like my friends and sisters always have nothing to do and I'm doing all this work for my classes. I guess that's the joy of being an English major... but really? Not even one paper or test to study for? I know Heather does actually do a lot of studying and Monica too but other than them it's rare that I see anyone else in our group actually doing something school related.

STEAM.

I have to say that it felt so good to just screw over my paper for Monday to have a Girls Night Out with my mom and go shopping for 1 1/2 or so hours. I don't get out enough as it is and I think I've been really depressed lately because of this. And other above stated reasons. So it felt to just spend money on myself.

2 more papers left before exams. 1 on Monday then I can slack (minus weekly comment papers <_< and reading for classes) until Easter break to work on my last paper. Speaking of Easter I was nominated to play bass for our Good Friday service since the regular bassist is on his Spring Break that week.

And and and. BOO. My last final is on my birthday T_T Super sad. Good thing its a Friday.

And I need a haircut again.

In the Last Month

So far this month I have...

:: Household Chores ::
1) Mowed the lawn
2) Folded laundry
3) Cleaned my room
4) Cleaned another room in the house
5) Weeded the garden(s)
6) Cleaned out the garage
7) Swept a room in the house
8) Painted a room
9) Organized or reorganized a shelf or desk
10) Paid bills

:: Friends ::
11) Hung out with a friend
12) Hung out with 2 or more friends at once
13) Seen a movie with a friend
14) Done something stupid with a friend
15) Been embarrassed in public with a friend
16) Cried over a friend's shoulder
17) Had a friend cry over your shoulder
18) Gotten into a fight or argument with a friend
19) Made up or apologized to a friend
20) Seen a friend that you haven't seen for a month or more
21) Met somebody new

:: Family ::
22) Fought or argued with a parent
23) Fought or argued with a sibling
24) Saw a parent or sibling cry
25) Had a parent or sibling cry over your shoulder.
26) Been complimented by a parent or sibling
27) Complimented a parent or sibling
28) Been insulted by a parent or sibling
29) Insulted a parent or sibling
30) Watched a movie with a parent or sibling
31) Played a board game with a parent or sibling.
32) Seen a parent or sibling you haven't seen for several days

:: Entertainment ::
33) Sang Karaoke
34) Acted in a play or movie
35) Played in a band or performed music
36) Gone to a concert
37) Danced at a concert
38) Danced somewhere else
39) Watched a movie
40) Watched a movie more than once
41) Been to a movie theater
42) Listened to a full CD
43) Listened to a full CD more than once
44) Listened to music for over 2 hours straight
45) Watched TV
46) Watched TV for over 2 hours straight
47) Used a computer for over 2 hours straight

:: In Public ::
48) Passed wind in public
49) Dropped an armful of stuff in public
50) Been humiliated in public
51) Been laughed at in public
52) Cried in public
53) Done something stupid in public
54) Been stared at by a large group of people
55) Had an argument or fight with somebody in public
56) Created a scene in public
57) Been asked to leave a store/building
58) Been asked to stop doing something in a store/building
59) Been pulled over while driving
60) Been in a traffic jam

:: Jobs ::
61) Been hired
62) Been fired
63) Gotten into trouble with the boss
64) Been asked to do something outrageous by the boss
65) Asked for a raise/promotion
66) Been promoted
67) Been demoted
68) Gotten a raise
69) Gotten pay lowered
70) Yelled at a coworker/boss
71) Been yelled at by a coworker/boss
72) Gotten a paycheck
73) Quit a job

:: Depression ::
74) Cried your heart out
75) Cried self to sleep
76) Spent over 2 hours straight crying
77) Spent a full day crying or wanting to cry
78) Purposely brought pain to self
79) Considered suicide
80) Attempted suicide
81) Had heart broken
82) Accidentally or purposely broken somebody's heart

:: Anger ::
83) Yelled at somebody
84) Yelled or screamed self hoarse
85) Slammed door
86) Thrown something across the room
87) Slapped somebody
88) Gotten into a fist fight
90) Accidentally broken something in rage
91) Punched a pillow or blanket
92) Punched the wall
93) Slammed fists or hands down onto a desk
94) Said something to somebody you later regretted after calming down

:: Fright ::
95) Cried in fear
96) Done something that frightened you to do
97) Watched a movie that left you frightened hours after
98) Wet self in fear
99) Had anxiety/panic attack
100) Been called paranoid
101) Thought the end was near
102) Been told 'there's nothing to be afraid about' or something simular

:: Excitement ::
103) Been excited at all
104) Stayed up all night in excitement
105) Screamed in excitement
106) Felt heart race or stomach tie a knot in excitement
107) Been JUST TOO EXCITED!

:: Happiness ::
108) Sang for no reason
109) Laughed for no reason
110) Smiled or grinned for no reason
111) Felt pure joy
112) Cried in joy
113) Been surprised (in a good way)
114) Seen somebody cry in joy
115) Hugged a complete stranger because you were so happy
116) Hugged somebody that would be quite awkward to hug
117) Hugged somebody PERIOD
118) Had a dream that you didn't want to wake up from
119) Spent a full day smiling or wanting to smile
120) Laughed at the dumbest of jokes

Woes

Bye bye Reading Week =(